the otter and the termite

there once was a termite who lived in a colony with millions of his brothers. one day the dam broke because the pesky otters went and killed off all the beavers and the dam couldnt be maintained! "OH SHIT" said the termites as water quickly flooded the rotten log they called home, the otters soon learned how to make fire from man and killed all the termites

THE END

Theory on Zombies

i have comne up with a thory on zombies that is entirely possible. all of the following situations are hypotheticle. "what if the goverment took all substances containing methemphedamine in them? and what if the few items that arnt are so diluted of meth that meth addicts cook up the most hazardous ways to get meth? what if they make chemicles so dangerous their brains are fried complelty! their cerebreal cortex would be fried, all thats left being the brain stem. all thats left in their minds is the absolute need for meth! they become animal like killing in packs as deadly brain dead zombies? i pose this question andy, what if?

new game coming out!

theres a brand new rpg coming out this fall im sure everyone will enjoy, its called "Life of a loley stingray". heres a in game pic

anything and everything

there once was a man with a bucket, he said hes trying to truck it!
he filled them both up with lemons and limes, and anything thatll make you go!
he then met a lady named suckit, whos favorite phrase was "PHUCK IT"
she game him some medicine for his aches and pains, but ended up just giving him demons and fines!
he then decided to take suckits old phrase and when it comes to buckets, he says fuck its!

How to properly despose of a phone

johnny deep

Johnny depp has quite a veiw on life that is verys imilar on life. it seems as if he is very against commercialism, and hates being pestered at times he wishes to be left alone. He has also been one of my favorite actors, and he seems to have had a inner demon burning him in his youth. All things considered he seems to be an unanchored ship, looking for a place for him to set sail to and live happily in a far off port. His quarkiness that hes shown in all his movies, along with his ability to always be himself have inspired many a things in my life. not from depp alone persay but what he represents. We all know that one person thats famous that we find our attidtude in life in. I am happy to see that depp has anchored down with a wife and kids, at at such a late age he will have no regrets. Live life on your own accord, and to the fullest you can make it.

The American Alphabet

A is for awesome America, cause its awesome
B is for bountiful breasts, cause 1/2 of america has them
C is for country cooking, cause america says fuck healthy shit
D is for Double D's, cause without them life as a true american means nothing
E is for elephantitis, cause thats the only disease we want on our dicks
F is for F***ing, cause its an american tradition
G is for Grande whitch connontates the size of my dick
H is for Hairy vaginas, whitch americans hate
I is for Indians, who we beat the s*** out of
J is for Joints, the best way to understand american values
K is for killing, cause its what our country is founded on
L is for limp dicks, cause there are none in America
M is for money, cause its what we roll with
N is for nostalgia, cause its how america rolls
O is for Orgasms, cause only americans have them
P is for Penis, cause if you got one in america...you win
Q is for quantom phisics, cause america says f*** that s***
R is for reasoning, cause we dont need that if we have a shotgun
S is for STDS, cause they are the basis on americas imphastructure
T is for Taylor, cause im a badass american
U is for Uraguay, cause we f***ing hate Uraguains
V is for vaginas, what else needs to be said
W is for women, cause they still get paid less than i do
X is for Xylophone, cause america uses it to call people in Xylo
Y is for yes, cause YES WE CAN
Z is for Zoom zoom, cause thats how we roll

a poem

there once was a child named marvin
he ended up a starvin
his family all died of aids
cause his mom said jesus saves
now that hes gone, who really cares?
when all of areica is eating pears
i want to help them i really do
put i like the fact they devour our poo
im not talking about humans or pets
im talking about shenanigans of a man with terrets
he screams hollors moans and groans
makes silly little jestures ever so pro
id like to see what i could with an oz of dro
who wants to come to my house tonight?
and im gonna make everyone feel alright.
-taylor kaegi

my first photo shoot

My first photo shoot. When I was 18 my wrestling buddies needed money for parties and we were all flat broke from the previous weekend. Then my friend jake told me about this man who takes pictures of dudes, and for 2 hours of work you get paid 100 dollars. We said hey, lets do it! So me and jake both went to this mans house and we didn’t have to bring anything. He told us to change into some boxer briefs and told us to do different poses. As I was posing there were hundreds, if not thousands of different dudes crotches framed all around the house. Eventually we finised after about 3 hours of work and we ended up with 200 dollars, we were gonna party hard tonight, then the dude said come back if you need any more money. I went back a couple weeks later short on cash and I was told to wear a jockstrap. As we got in he offered me some drinks and then passed me a tub of oil to cover myself with. I then lied next to a bear rug behind a fireplace with an aggressive look on my face. After a couple days he started texting me in a very creepy manner, I did go back a third time, but after that I was so weirded out by the man, he was just so creepy. He stll texts me every once and a while asking if I would come to eat dinner at his house.

gender confused

Gender confused- when I was little I was supposed to be born as a girl. My parents were so sure I was going to be a girl that they got me four years of girls clothing and toys. I had barbies and dresses and skirts and my entire room was pink and purple. Playing with dolls at a young age kinda confused all my playmates, they would bring badass monster trucks and I would supply Barbie and dresses for her. Luckily I was given a football when I was five that changed me thouroly. By my redneck uncle who said hey your kinda gay, lets man you up a bit.and every since that day I was a man, a mans man.

honda model POS

My car- When I was just 15 years old I was at my neighbors friends house and I saw they had a piece of crap lying in the back of the yard. It was missing its hood, and many other broken things. Needless to say I needed a car and I had 250 dolars. I bought it and with the help of my uncles friend Kenny and another 250 dollars we fixed her up to a polished turd. Although I cant say shes pretty, a car that runs fine is a car of mine. Without out being able to drive I couldn’t have done everything that’s truly fun in life. Like going to the DMV, getting my tags redone, and heavy traffic. Life without a car at the moment is miserable.

teenage fantasies, mick jaeger wants me

in all my years of high school i often had vivid dream like fantasies throughout all my classes. Besides the days where i came to school drunk, i would sit my head in such a way that i could imagine everything a teenage boy could posibly fathom. This story symbolizes the dreamers and fantasizers. As human as we are we all lust for that perfcet coincidence in whitch we find the then "hottest" chick/dude that ever walked the freaking earth. Its easy to understand from my standpoint from susies perspective on why her heart simply said no. I always thought of the most erotic or sensual ways of meeting my dream girl, but could never really ponder on a random coincidence. many others are daydreamers find that although they have a masterplan to get the money, girl/guy, or drugs, they dont quite know what to do with it when the option reveals itself in a rather ironic or spontaneous matter. When the oppurtunity strikes, just as i would beleive i would react i wouldnt have the guts to do what Michelle would have. As a human its not ahrd to beleive that are seperate types of people throughtout the world. Some adolecents are shy and meek: and others may be bold and brash. There is an imbetween group of those who are indeffrent on everything they choose to do. Susie in her teenage years if i could guess correctly was not a shy or meek person but rather indiffrent and always dreaming of the future instead of the now and then, unless pressing matters arose. Mick jaeger was but a few steps away from her and she will forever regret not picking the apple she clasped onto with all her might.

The story us and them is about in my opinion takes on the perspective of the young boy whos whole life is taken by social nomralties.What is the most common way of knowing what is popular, what the best hairstyles are, whats bad and good for us? T.Vs are. The Tompkins not having a television illustrated the fact that they did not worry about if their is a new car,purse, or toy truck at the megamall.However the author makes it seem that the point of living life hapilly is to be "normal" and soccially accpetable. Without media how would we know what acceptable is? in my opinion i dont give a danm what other people think of me...for the most aprt.Towards the end of the story his mom states take a look at yourself, your human on the outside but your a pig on the inside.If one thinks about it, we are human in many aspects. How human are we though? Truely if were so intelegent are structual in our thoughts and actions, then why do we see woman like a flock of geese behind the "in-guy"? why do we buy somthing that better than what we got if they both do the same job? many call it effiency, but id rather call it egotism. if your neighbor jsut boguht a brand new comaro, is their a chancve that you start thinking about getting a new car? I beleive so. Isnt it interesting that were call homo-sapiens. if you look at it homo meaning same, is it probable it was called that by the simple fact that were always trying to be the same as the most "powerful" person. (by powerful i mean in looks, leading, wealth and power respectivly.) although i might have gotten a little off topic from this memoir but it kinda started a chain reaction in thoughts of what it personaly said to me.